just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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