I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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