So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
