I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Screwed.edu
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
