Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
