I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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