Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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