Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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