I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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