I'm drive I can fine osifer
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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