Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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