Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
