Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
