we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
