You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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