Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
