So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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