Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
