Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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