My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
