Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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