So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
