Define "chronic" masturbator.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
