I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
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