We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
