he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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