i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
