just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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