oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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