Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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