Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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