UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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