We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
