i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
