After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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