all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Everyone says I win the strip club
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
