Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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