When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
