i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
