What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
