Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
