You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
