Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was confusing and full of hummus
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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