life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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