I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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