D3 body, D1 cock
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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