Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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