i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
