I'm going to jail i love you
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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