Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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