Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
birth control should be required to get into college
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
