Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
