Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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